Last night I was enjoying a before bed smoke when I heard the familiar scream of police sirens, I watch a lot of Wildest Police Videos. It turns out I got to watch the live version last night. As some of you may know the Dallas and Mesquite PDs were in involved in a high speed chase that started in Mesquite and ended in downtown Dallas…50 yards from my apartment!

As the sirens got louder I could also hear the distinctive rumble of a big truck coming my direction. I looked toward the highway exit ramp and got the surprise of a lifetime. A big white truck hauling ass down the ramp towards my street, with two cop cars in hot pursuit. Luckily John Criminal decided not to take a right on Liberty street, seriously thats the name of the last turn he could have made, but continued on through to the dead end about 75 yards from my balcony.

When the perp realized he was cornered he reacted like any GED holder would. He started ramming shit with the truck he stole. Mr. Criminal first drove up on the sidewalk and hit a tree while trying to whip the truck around. By this time the two cars chasing him had almost completely blocked him in while he attempted to turn around.

I’m almost 100% positive that John Criminal then said something like, “I’m not going back to the slammer”, or “You’ll never take me alive coppers!” Because he then proceeded to ram a police cruiser to try and escape.

Now comes the coolest thing I have ever seen in my life, granted Radiohead isn’t until May 18th. Its reported that the officers involved ‘began to fear for their lives’ [read:wanted to shoot stuff] at this point. I then with my very own eyes saw two police officers open fire on this truck as it whizzed backwards heading straight for an apartment building. I saw the distinctive two handed gun holding position and the loud report of the 9mm ringing out in the warm night air. And then silence. I obviously lost my shit at this point.

I think I kind of ran around my apartment for a second yelling “HOLY SHIT!!!”, before I woke Old Herp up to come join the fray. I then called Marc and Brian to frantically recount the events. I think I told them I heard around 6-7 gunshots and at the time I assumed the man had been killed. Especially considering how abruptly the action stopped.

Boy was I wrong, as you can see the picture above shows no less than 10 bullet holes. The morning news video showed more than this plus more on the other side of the truck. And not a single one of those mofos hit John Criminal. I counted around 15-20 bullet holes in that truck. All in the doors and windows without a single flesh wound.

I stayed up watching emergency vehicles come and go for around an hour. Finally the news trucks showed up followed by the CSI unit. Sadly it was not David Caruso in a Hummer and sunglasses. When I finally settled into bed, basked in the red and blue lights of justice, I knew it had been a good night. Thank you America. Thank you.